We are getting close to closing off 2020 and you are sitting with your list of dreams and passions that you promised yourself that you were going to pursue this year! You know what you want, have done your research but something keeps coming between you and implementation. And that thing is fear. You fear the unknown, what people will say, that you might fail; you fear getting started. Moreover, you fear disappointing your partner and your children. I get it though mommy, taking the risk of pursuing your dreams was easier when it was just you. Now the excitement that you had when you wrote your dreams down has fizzled down and you have been wondering how to build the confidence to pursue your dreams. Here are 5 tips to get you started on building that confidence.
Know that it is okay to want more than motherhood
The myth that all moms should be fulfilled solely by motherhood has been perpetuated in our society and that is why moms feel guilty about and often delay pursuing their dreams. Mommy, it is okay to want more than motherhood. It is so easy to lose yourself in the guise of motherhood, especially because motherhood is like a full-time job (more than that actually). So mommy, permit yourself to pursue your dreams. Your children will grow and won’t always be dependent on you. When they do, you do not want your identity to be lost without them.
Nurture your dreams and passions
I do not know about you mommy, but I have never had 100% confidence in my ability to nurture and parent my daughter but I am doing it (with Jesus’ help). The more the time passes and the more I parent, the more my confidence is built.
It should be the same with our dreams. Start where you are, with what you have. I have a dream of growing this blog and helping 1 million moms confidently practice holistic self-care, develop themselves, pursue their dreams while raising their children, and reach God’s purpose for their lives. However, I haven’t reached 1 million moms yet but I am continually doing what I can to get to achieve that dream. Nurturing your dreams can mean:
- Going back to school
- Starting your dream business as a side hustle while you work full time
- Setting aside time weekly/daily to do the research that is needed to get started (Be careful not to use research as a reason not to get started)
Make a commitment
To build the confidence to pursue your dreams you need to commit. Commit to:
- Living outside your comfort zone
- Finding a way to work around pursuing your dreams and raising your children
- Figuring things out
- To forgiving yourself when you mess up
- To begin again whenever you fail. Giving up shouldn’t be an option if you want something
Remain true to yourself
Nothing kills confidence like trying to be some that you are not. This is very common with the digital age and social media giving us access to everybody’s lives. Stay true to your values and always remember why you started. I believe that your confidence will skyrocket when you operate from your strengths and not your weaknesses. Yes, you can grow and evolve but do not lose yourself. Comparison allows doubt to get the best of you.
Know that you shouldn’t know everything before you start
Where are my fellow perfectionists at? This one is for the team. You need to divorce the idea that you need to wait for the perfect day to start because it will never come! Likewise, quit thinking that you need to be perfect before you can begin. I am currently listening to “You are the Key”, an audio book about turning your imperfections into purpose. Caitlin puts so much emphasis on how her imperfect life experiences gave birth to her purpose.
There will always be room for growth which limits the chances of anyone ever being “perfect”. So do it scared mommy. You will gain confidence on the go. Take the action that is needed no matter how imperfect it may seem. Pursue your dreams from a place of self-love. Always empower yourself, be accountable, and never stop learning. These are my 5 tips to build confidence to pursue your mama dreams. I would love to know how you build and cultivate the confidence to pursue the things that set your soul on fire.