I admire how moms show up for their children. They go all out to give their children the best. One would think that because of this, it should be easy for us to mother ourselves (Mothering – the process of nurturing that helps someone to grow. Caring for, and tending to the needs of someone), but it is not. However, it is something that mothers should learn to do. Here’s how to show up for yourself as a mom.
Showing up for yourself explained
Showing up for yourself as a mom means making your needs, be it practical, physical, emotional, financial, spiritual, etc. a priority too. It is loving, valuing, and honoring yourself and doing what needs to be done to make the life you desire a reality. Even though your plate is almost always full of things that need to be done, showing up for yourself means saying yes to yourself in spite of having your plate full.
Why it is important to show up for yourself
Eighty percent of success is showing up. ~Woody Allen
- It is important to ensure that your own cup is full first because showing up for others while causing a deficit in your own self-care bank serves no one in the long run.
- You run the risk of never living the life you desire if you do not show up. Someone said, “if you want the things in your life to change, you have to change the things in your life”.
- Your confidence and self-esteem decrease when you bail out on yourself continuously.
- Your children are watching. Being a parent means that you are the first example for your own kids. And the one thing about children is that they do what you do and not what you say.
Stop disconnecting yourself from your needs, likes, desires and all thighs that you know are good for you.
Reasons why you might not show up for yourself
I do not know about you mama, but I have never consciously decided not to show up for myself. The decision not to always comes up wrapped in one of these reasons:
- I do not feel like it – Waiting until you feel a certain way in order to start doing what you need to do is the highest form of self-sabotage. Our feelings are fickle and if we rely on them, we will never get anything done.
“You will never always be motivated. You have to learn to be disciplined” ~ Unknown
- I just don’t have the time – I am learning that we only make time for things that are important to us and if we are not making the time, then it is not that important.
- I am scared – Fear can talk you out of showing up for yourself and keep you standing on the sidelines because it is safer there. I would like to suggest that you start letting love and service inspire your actions instead of fear.
These are some of the things you can do to start showing up for yourself:
- Ask for help when you need it
- Prioritize your needs
- Consistently pursue your desires
- Practice self-compassion
- Stop comparing yourself
- Get out of your comfort zone
- Practice self-care
Get clarity on your desires
When showing up for yourself, you need to make choices that serve your needs, your dreams, and your desires. However, you cannot make those choices unless you know what those needs, dreams, and desires are. Therefore, grab a pen and a paper and answer the following questions:
- What kind of mom do you want to be?
- What are your desires for your other relationships?
- How do you want to contribute to the world?
- What income bracket do you want for yourself?
- What does being healthy mean to you?
- How would you like to practice self-care and self-love?
- What dreams have you been putting aside? (Pursuing your dreams as a mom can be hard, yet very rewarding. If you are having difficulty with that, start here)
Now that you have answered these questions, consider the necessary changes that you need to make and start with one change at a time to avoid overwhelm.
Stop avoiding discomfort
Let me share this one truth with you, mama, showing up for yourself will be uncomfortable at times, and making decisions to avoid discomfort means you are also making the decision to leave yourself behind. To be honest, I do not think that you can hide from discomfort; you can either choose the discomfort of showing up for yourself or choose the discomfort of regret. Being brave enough to show up for yourself is uncomfortable.
Living a fulfilling, life-giving, enjoyable and authentic life requires you to show up for yourself. How do you show up for yourself as a mom?