Your life as a mother might be full, but are you fulfilled? There is a lingering belief that to be a good mother, you must abandon your dreams and your goals; that you should forget about them. And this societal expectation does stop many mothers from pursuing their dreams! It creates a belief that as a mother, you cannot pursue your dreams and raise your children, which I believe is not true! There are things that you can do to be present for your children and pursue your dreams. Motherhood doesn’t have to be the end of your dreams! I wrote a few tips on how to pursue your dreams while raising your children here. However, today I want to remind you about the cost of not pursuing your dreams as a mom.
You lose the chance to do something for yourself
Have you ever heard or said some of these expressions before?
- I am working to provide for my kids and family but I want to do something for me
- I do not feel like myself anymore, I used to be driven and I was a goal-getter before becoming a mother
- Many of the things I do are for people but nothing for myself
Neglecting yourself, your needs, your dreams, and your desires keeps you feeling out of touch with yourself. Not pursuing your dreams as a mom will cost you peace of mind as you continuously go through the thoughts and fears of never being able to feel like yourself again (speaking from personal experience). Actively creating the time, no matter how little; to do something for yourself can help you navigate back to your sense of self.
You run the risk of never getting what you want
If you do not go after what you want, you will never get it! Yes, after becoming a mother dreams are likely to evolve but that is no reason not to pursue your dreams. You have to do the work to find out what you want for yourself now that you are a mother. Jack Canfield said that there are so many layers of should’s, ought to’s, and you’d betters that pile on top of and suffocate our deepest dreams and desires. If any of these are crippling you to the point of inaction, free yourself and redefine motherhood for yourself so that you can pursue your dreams and goals.
“All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” ~ Walt Disney
You feel stuck
When you don’t pursue your dreams as a mom you can pay the cost of feeling stuck. Sometimes these feelings can be so deep that they make you believe that everything that you have ever dreamed about in your life will never come to pass (negative thoughts). Sometimes you feel stuck because your responsibilities and commitments always take the forefront. And your dreams fit in if there is time and that’s a big if! And that has to change!
According to rtor.org, feeling stuck is like having an aching sense that you need to do something, anything to propel you out of your current state – but you can’t. It’s like you’re frozen. Nothing feels available. If you are feeling stuck because you feel like something that you truly want is out of reach, try and simplify it; break it down and see if you cannot start where you are with what you have. Ask yourself, how can I pursue this dream right where I am?
You run the risk of staying unfulfilled
There was a season in my life when I was busy being busy. I did so many things for so many people, yet I was unfulfilled! Consequently, my self-respect and confidence diminished while fear and self-doubt increased. Then I realized that doing nothing to pursue the dreams that God has placed in your heart will leave you unsatisfied no matter how much you are busy doing. Picture a life where you never do anything about your deepest dreams and desires and ask yourself if that is the life that you want, a life that might leave you filled with regret.
Mama, your dreams do not end with motherhood! You can pursue your dreams and your goals while raising your children. I believe that motherhood was not meant to tame you or put you in a box. You can get unstuck and you can pursue and achieve your dreams. I hope this post about the cost of not pursuing your dreams as a mom, has inspired you to take action toward your dreams.
The journal that I have created is designed to help you figure out what you want as a mom, to dream again, create a game plan for motherhood, and pursue your dreams beyond motherhood. Let me know below in the comments what you believe is the cost of NOT pursuing your dreams as a mom. I am looking forward to reading your comments.